In a relationship, it's important to understand that everyone has a unique way of expressing love. This concept is known as love language which was first introduced in a book entitled "The Five Love Language" by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1995. Understanding your partner's love language is the key to maintaining a harmonious and lasting relationship.
The trend of love language is considered as a person's way of showing their love in a relationship. Therefore, it is important to have good communication skills with your partner to understand their love language.
What Is Love Language?
Love language otherwise known as the language of love, is an individual preference in a relationship with other people. Not only for couples, but can also be applied to friends, friends, or family members. For example, if someone’s love language is act of service, they will feel happy and fulfilled when helping others in small things like opening a bottle cap.
5 Types of Love Language
In a relationship, there are five types of love languages that can be expressed by humans. Therefore, it is important for us to recognize these five types of love languages
- Act of Service
People whose love language is action prefer to show their affection through actions rather than words. This love language is more commonly owned by women than men, because women tend to feel affection through the treatment or service of their partner. This form of attention can make them feel loved and grow their love. These actions can be small things like opening a bottle cap or making breakfast.
- Quality Time
For some people, being together with a partner in a relationship is very important. Time together is believed to strengthen the love between them. Likewise in family and friendship relationships, joint activities such as watching movies, doing the same hobby, or traveling can strengthen relationships.
In that time together, couples can communicate more intensely, share thoughts with each other, and discuss future plans more broadly than only through social media.
- Physical Touch
A love language of physical touch tends to make it so that physical touch makes people who have it feel happy. Physical touch such as stroking their partner's head, holding hands, or stroking their cheek can make them feel loved. Even holding hands and hugging can reinforce love, as long as it's not meant to be negative. Only by being close to a partner, people with this love language already feel happy.
- Receiving Gifts
Giving gifts to partners as a form of love is not limited to special moments such as birthdays or anniversaries. Some people do it anytime as an expression of gratitude for their love. Although the love language of receiving gifts is often misinterpreted as materialistic behavior, for people with this love language, the desired gift does not have to be expensive as long as it is given sincerely.
They appreciate their partner's efforts and will happily accept any gift. This is true not only in romantic relationships, but also in family and friendships.
- Words of Affirmation
Someone whose love language is Words of Affirmation, prefers to express affection through sweet words. Different from “Act of Service" who like to take action. People with this love language will really appreciate greetings or appreciation, such as saying "I love you" or giving encouragement and thanking. With words like these, couples can feel happy and confident in their relationship.
Here's How to Know Your Partner's Love Language
Each individual has love language dominant in his life. However, how to identify the love language of your partner or even yourself? The following will explain how easy it is to find out what love language that someone has:
- Pay attention to the attitude of the partner
To know your partner’s love language, pay attention to how he expresses his love and affection to the people around him. If he enjoys giving gifts or is very excited when given gifts, his love language is possibly receiving gifts. If he likes to give sweet words or motivation, his love language could be words of affirmation.
- Listen When You Speak
Listen to your partner's complaints to find out love language-his. Pay attention to what she really wants, like if he complains that you're ignorant and want more attention, then his love language is possibly words of affirmation.
- Trying To Understand His Desires
In order to be able to help properly, not only listen to complaints and pay attention to someone's attitude, but also need to understand their desires properly. For example, if someone asks for goods, it doesn't necessarily mean he is materialistic. His love language might be receiving gifts.
After studying the 5 types of love language, you can try to apply it with your partner. By using this love language, you can keep your relationship intact and awaken a feeling of mutual love. Good luck!